Comment

There's been so much happen since the Board of Trustees meeting on 11 March.

I've met with some amazingly wise and experienced people in the field of parenting services. I've heard stories from strong and resilient parents going through similar experiences. I've talked to numerous community, social support professionals and I 've read a lot of material on teenagers. I've written numerous posts for my blog and not posted them. I've engaged positively and briefly with Teen1 a few times; and I've been treated with incredible disrespect from him in return. I've stayed up nights waiting for him to come home and he hasn't. I've fallen asleep in the early hours wondering where he is. I've even lodged Missing Person's reports with the local police after 36 hour absences from the house. And then withdrawn them. I've been pleasantly surprised when he's arrived in occasionally for dinner. I've greeted him at the door when he's been wet, cold and exhausted from being out at nights on his pushbike, going between the Fockers and home. We've had the new PS3 and all the games taken from the house again. But I've not reported the theft to the Police because it just seems too hard. I've met with the new school and the incredibly supportive School Principal, but T1 has refused to come to meetings with her, or come with me to buy the uniform, or talk about anything at all to do with what comes next. I've shouted at him as he's walked away from me. I've been calm when I've talked to him and walked away when after two sentences he's sworn and been incredibly abusive. I've cried myself to sleep. I've read my counselling books on dealing with teens. I've stopped laughing at Nigel Latta's tv show (sorry Nigel). I've talked to case workers who have only come up with options I've explored already. And I've ignored T1 as a tactic to see what might happen next. I've given T1 the tough love talk, but have not got past the third sentence (of five planned sentences: I know now when to shut up). I've consulted with elders, extended family, counsellors, spirit guides, inner wisdom, my other children, my ex. I've ignored and got on with my own life. I've told him I love him. I've done his washing. I've left his washing.

And from all of this, what do I see before me? A child.