Friday, July 30, 2010

Breakfast Specials


Today’s Special Breakfast menu


Menu Presentation: Teenage son.


Head Chef and Family Business Owner: Mother of Teenage son


On today’s menu (condiments in brackets):


Green tea (with fuck off lemon)


Kiwifruit (with you’re a such fucking bitch yoghurt)


Special K (with Special shut the fuck up skim milk)


Porridge for the kids (with get the fuck out of my way brown sugar)


Toast (spread with a generous topping of leave me alone honey)


Takeaway ham and cheese Turkish bread (with take the trash bin out yourself mayo)


Prices:  free and without the condiments if customer shuts up and doesn’t say a word about preparing to meet the School Principal at 8.40am to discuss school stand-down.

Tipping guide : Throw in $20 and Menu Presenter will leave the kitchen and go to school.


Customer review – “Sour and badly presented food.  I left without paying.  Needs to do better if diners will come near this menu.  I understand that the Head Chef has now left, the cupboards will remain bare, and the Business Owner is leaving the till empty and bank account closed until the sour ingredients are omitted and there’s a distinct change in presentation.  The Business Owner was overheard to comment that the consequences of not doing so will mean unemployment, loss of basic necessities, and absolutely no possibility of expanding into other growth areas, locally, nationally or internationally.  As time goes by, this reviewer hopes the Menu Presenter will realise that with improvement, there will be massive gains, greater trust and numerous rewards.”


[Other diners, please post comments]

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