Break In

My house was burgled today. Portable electronic goods were taken, one a prized possession of Teen2 who’d saved for six months to buy a cool new gaming console.

There’s been several burglaries in the area – electronic goods, a bike or two from garages. A neighbour reported answering her door in the middle of the day recently to a couple of youths looking for someone. Her suspicions aroused, she had notified the police.

There’s this slippery slope around Trust. Either it is there whole and unquestioned. Or it can be wiped out with one silly mistake or one calculated action. We all know the premise behind Trust: once it has been broken, it can be very difficult to bring it back, even with the best of intentions and a heart open to trust, hope and love. Unfortunately, earlier in the week, Teen1’s threats to steal my things (because I wouldn’t give him money) were full of malicious intent and anger. Unfortunate, because this set the scene for doubt to creep in.

The police questioned Teen2 and Teen 3 keenly. Their questions were aimed at ascertaining whether the burglary could have been committed by anyone known to my boys, which was nigh on impossible. Then the questions regarding Teen1 (who was not present at that time) began. Again it is a slippery slope – making assumptions is close to making allegations and I was hugely hesitant. I skirted around the issue, expressing at first my concern about T1’s social group. Until it came time to make a decision: name names or not. In the end I did. (Unfaithful wench). As I mentioned one name after another, there was instant recognition of each from the police officers : all four boys I mentioned had been caught in the past breaking and entering houses, stealing goods and breaking into cars, and more than one of them was known by the police for several years. So far, my son was not on their radar. A picture of what I have been dealing with was coming more into focus.

T1 took a ride in a police car to the station for questioning. There was a dual strategy at play: firstly to see if he knew anything about the theft, which he didn’t, and he displayed a convincing disgust that our gaming console had been taken; and secondly, to send a strong message to him that his mates had been caught stealing previously, were being watched closely by the police, and he would do well to stay away from them and clear of any criminal activities. He was livid at the assumptions made and he remained loyal to the core to his mates. He also, thankfully, remained cooperative and communicative, if somewhat dour. I wondered if Nigel Latta’s comment last month about his brain growing and developing every day is proving true, and he is in a better space to moderate his reactions than he was a while back?!

In the car on leaving the station, I thought he might put his fist through the windscreen in anger and fury. But he didn’t. His language certainly ought to have shattered the glass. But it didn’t. Still, he saved his fury until he’d left the station, so there’s a modicum of self - control.

I doubt I’ll find out who burgled my house. I’m less concerned about the material losses (and who wouldn’t be when we hear of the devastation in Canterbury), but I am concerned about the intent of kids who have not a lot to do and very little direction in their lives. I will trust Teen1 to make a judgment call about his friends. But I trust myself more to ensure that there’s no room for temptation or complacency.

Wishing for trust in our children to remain an untested constant, or, to find the ability to have it rebuilt over time. So that we can all rest easy in our own homes.