War. Truce. Peace. Definitions

war (wôr) n.*

1.

a. A state of open, armed, often prolonged conflict carried on between nations, states, or parties such as parents and teenagers.

b. The period of such conflict. Can be six days (Israel Arab war of 1967) or six years (parent – child conflict occurring when teen is between the ages of 13 – 18 years), or can extend indefinitely.

See: history books, CNN, newspapers for numerous examples of long running global conflicts (e.g. Middle East between everyone, United States with almost everyone, Korea with its other half, Tibet with China, and China with everyone else over Tibet).

See: library shelves, internet blogs for advice on generational repetitive teen/parental conflicts (e.g. 90% of households in the western world).

c. The techniques and procedures of war. Military science. Can be developed by besieged parents and teenagers against each other:

Parent: removes privileges = Teen: removes part of the bedroom wall. With his fists.

Parent: cuts off pocket money = Teen: steals money and alcohol.

Parent: imposes curfew = Teen goes AWOL

2.

a. A condition of active antagonism or contention: a price war; a war of words, such as those most commonly used in a teenage/parental conflict.

Explicit antagonism:

Teen :

“Fuck off out of my room”;

“What do you know, you are SO old”;

Parent:

“How was school today?”

Implicit contention - statement with contention bracketed:

- Teen:

There’s a party on tonight (and I am going).

- Parent:

Let’s talk about that. Where is it, will there be supervision and let’s agree I pick you up at 11.30pm. (Only on my terms)

- Teen:

I hate you. You’re the ONLY parent who ever wants to know all that shit. I’m going anyway. I don’t care what you say. I might come home at 2 or maybe 3 if I feel like it. And by the way, I hate you saying you care about me: Stop fucking caring so much. (I’m going , I can see that she cares, but I’ll deny it).

- Parent:

If you walk out this door, there will be consequences (economic sanctions will be imposed),

You know you are making the wrong choices (these hostilities must no longer continue)

You know what the rules of the house are (I fully intend to deploy the troops)

I’ll never stop caring (civilians caught up in collateral damage is regrettable)

I’ll never do your washing again (trading relations will cease)

I hate your behaviour, and sometimes you too (the War on terror has begun).

Note:

Neither side hears the other though all the verbiage, resulting in war (wôr ) rather than peace (ps)

b. A concerted effort or campaign to combat or put an end to something considered injurious:

i) the war against global warming, poverty, trade in black diamonds etc;

ii) the war against verbal abuse, breaking house rules, using drugs, leaving food to mould under bed, American gangsta rap played at 90 decibels repeatedly, etc.

Tactics used can include:

withdrawing privileges; initiating interventions; arranging counselling; accidentally breaking the stereo; the cat scratching the cds; banishment to another planet.

truce (trs) n.*

1. A temporary cessation or suspension of hostilities by agreement of the parents and teenager, usually becoming permanent after teenager reaches 25 (or 45).

2. A respite from a disagreeable state of affairs: either through parents going on a camper van circumnavigation of Australia, or teenager leaving home. Preferably reached through written or verbal agreement (see “Peace”).

peace (ps) n.*

1. The absence of war or other hostilities: a harmonious country; peaceful home. Desirable. Preferably attained prior to, rather than following atrocities against humanity, or children leaving home.

2. An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities: written or verbal agreement on matters such as respecting parents, people and things, safety of self and others, and duty of care to self and others.

3. Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmonious relations: family members living in peace (ps n.*) rather than being at war (wôr n.*)

with each other.

*(Source: Farlax’s online Free Dictionary, heavily re-engineered)

Wishing all parents sleep with hearts at peace, not hearts at war.